Rival Sporting Codes Set to Follow Innovative Surf League Format
Following yesterday’s brilliant performances by the world’s best surfers in challenging, blustery and powerful surf at Hawaii’s Sunset Beach, several global sporting bodies have expressed interest in adapting their existing competitive formats to that devised by professional surfing’s administrative body, the World Surf League (WSL).
Jay Monahan, Tour Commissioner of the Professional Golf Association (PGA) spoke with Ding Alley from his Florida home after eight hours glued to Monday’s webcast, marvelling at a life-affirming day of spectacle in the spiritual home of the Sport of Kings, where competitors rode at the edge of their considerable limits – calling on all their wits and skill to navigate a lineup that would leave most recreational surfers quite literally lost at sea.
“The way they tore the shit out of those imperfect, revered walls would have brought a tear to the eye of BK, Reno, Hakman…” enthused Monahan. “This is the magic that waves of consequence bring forth – surfing that’s contemporary yet timeless. And the thought struck me, this is exactly what pro golf needs! Surfing has Sunset, Pipe, G-Land, Cloudbreak, J-Bay; golf has St Andrews, Augusta National, Pebble Beach, etc – courses steeped in tradition and challenge, mythical courses that define players and careers, courses that expose the weaknesses of the mortals, and where only the true greats rise to become champions.
“And so I thought, you know, wouldn’t it be great if at the end of the competitive year we held a World-Champion-deciding tournament at a gormless little par-three pitch-and-putt public course, with no sand traps or water hazards.
“Given the year the golfers have had, fighting the bitter elements at St Andrews, daring to take on the 10th at Augusta, keeping their ball dry at Pebble Beach, what could be better than, come December, to see them vie for their place alongside the immortals by teeing off with pitching wedges without concern for pesky bunker shots, challenging pin placements or pulling a driver out of the bag.
“This is how champions are legitimised.”
Citing the WSL’s innovative use of Wave Pool Technology™, Monahan also hinted that some of the more prestigious tournaments on the PGA calendar could be held at driving ranges such as Topgolf: “The ultimate golf entertainment complex with state-of-the-art technology, delicious food & lively atmosphere!” according to the brochure.
It appears other sporting bodies both large and small, may follow the WSL’s lead. The Association of Tennis Professionals (ATP) and Women’s Tennis association (WTA) are jointly investigating a year-end round-robin pickleball competition to decide its number one players; Formula One is tinkering with the idea of a final five ‘sprint format’ showdown using ceiling-powered Dodgem Car technology; the World Tenpin Bowling Championship (WTBA) has confirmed bumpers will be incorporated into half-length lanes to create a safe, inclusive space for all competitors, and new AFL CEO Andrew Dillon is said to be staking his legacy on replacing September’s traditional Grand Final with a bit of kick-to-kick down the park.
Monahan acknowledges the WSL’s ground-breaking work in the space as proof of concept for all sports to follow: “They have shown that the public go WILD for low-stakes finales at demonstrably inferior and banal venues…little wonder the corporate heavy hitters have been beating a path to the WSL’s door,” before adding wistfully, “What we at the PGA would give to crack the Bonsoy / Bailey’s Ladder combo!”
// DING ALLEY
*Ding Alley is Footscray TAFE’s finest creative duo, Illustrator David @maccatoons McArthur and Writerer Gra Murdoch
Comments
Gold.
: )
And in tennis, give legend Rod Laver a well earned wildcard for the Wimbledon Pickle Ball Championship to show Djokovic and Sinner some old school shots.
Hahahaha....
That's epic.
hahahahaha. You got a good, sustained chuckle out of me on that one Gra.
Gold Jerry, gold....
Quality
Yes, this is gold . You have nailed it. Great work.
"You can't script this"
Then they did...
Champagne! I can imagine Dirk reading this without a hint of sarcasm and shouting at his EA for being OOTL.
Brief, well paced, perfect.
Klein aber fein, as they say in Deutschneyland.
I just hope old mate Abdo can get on board with this
hahaha. Dodgem cars.
This is hilarious because it's true.
Welcome back ding alley, how we've missed you. Is it true the NRL are pivoting to Oztag for this year's final series?
Ha excellent!
You'd like to think so, it's the obvious progression
If they can get The Shark to caddy for Mcllroy, i’ll watch.
haha, Nice spray at the wozzle.
And speaking of heavy hitters beating a path to the WSLs door, rumour also has it Dana White is following suit and could hold UFC Title fights in an inflatable jumping castle at primary school fetes, in an attempt to make them look more family friendly.
Just got a call from Arun Singh Dhumal – chairman of the IPL. A huge fan of the Logan era League. Let me know the date of this year’s final.
Made it clear that I should give the stumps painted on the Sulo bins a fresh coat, get some tennis balls taped up, and make sure the neighbours know not to park their cars on the street for the day.
Nah, they've got to go for a big night of board game action with Test Match by Crown&Andrews
Bravo!
I'm surprised Ding didn't interview Mobby Bartinez about the WSL's final 5 concept?
Perhaps an encore?
I can't believe that these big sporting codes are looking into this concept seriously. This is bullshit. Trestles concept to decide a world champ just unbelievable.
AFL may as well roll the footy through the goals.... meh.
You got that down to a T.
I've just heard that the F1 season will finish with a top 5 shoot out at Luna Park dodgems cars. Max will have his work cut out, could be a smash up against Lewis H .
What happens when Little Lewis Hamilton’s car’s gone and bloody well stalled? And he’s bawling his eyes out. While the other finalists - older kids, proper hard cnts, must be from out west - James Hunt, Nikki Lauda, Alain Prost, Aryton Senna, are smashing the bejeesus out of him. One after the other. Bang! Bang! Remorseless. Then all at once. Bang!
The more Lewis wails, the more the bullies rejoice, the harder they go. Then that scary looking carny character wades through and starts fiddling with Lewis’s rod. The one on the back of his car - the aforementioned ceiling technology. Which only freaks Lewis out even more.
Do they instigate the yellow flag and safety car protocol? Or is Lewis’s dad allowed to jump onto the track and carry the poor little fella outta there?
Fricking gold, Roker. I can see this scenario so vividly.
You know what right after listing off all those breaks, you had me convinced that Filipe deserves his titles all the more. Having been the overall points leader, he deserves a lay up! And if it's so easy to surf at Trestles, why wasn't he beaten!?
you honestly had me along for the ride! Well done
It's a good point you make. Even Filipe, the fricken world champ, suffers as a result of this absurd concept.
world champ**
No way, I'm convinced now. Just because the organisation is a joke, doesn't mean he didn't dominate the comp that they were all playing in. Yeah I'm not happy that he avoids pipe. But the more I see it the more I think it's underestimated as a slab just because of how much it's surfed. It's no Shippies, it is maybe one level below in gnarnality, but it's not far off in the grand scheme of things. So I don't mind if the odd world champ can't surf it, just like Kelly can't surf sunset.
I hear ya, and to be clear, the satire isn't directed at Fil, it's about the Woz.
Cheers, I was directing that at the astericks. Sprout's taken it on the chin haha.
Gnarnality, love it.
Kelly didn't need to be able to surf Sunset to win his world tiiiii... I see your point.
Kelly has a dig at Sunset, that's the difference. Unfortunately something in Felipes head tells him not to go, and he ends up dodging waves in the channel knowing he can throw away his worse results . He has form at Pipe , Chopes , The Box and we don't know about Coudbreak . If you look at others on tour, past and present , they put in time to learn those waves. Felipe doesn't seem to want to, and that's a problem in my opinion.Yes he can get in the top 5 and win the World Title without those waves and so can others, that's what the article is showing the ridiculousness of.
In the 80's The Pipe Masters was a four star event I believe, which meant it was worth a crap-tonne more points than an event at some shitty beach break. This meant that most years there were usually a number of surfers with at least a mathematical chance of winning the title. Kinda similar to the final five concept in a way except it was at the wave that's the benchmark by which all other waves are measured. As such there were some pretty dramatic days of surfing where world titles were decided. Who could forget the year Tom Carrol lost the title after an interference call, or the year Barton Lynch won?
As for Toledo, well however well he's done he'll never be truely respected as a world champ until he properly takes on Pipe. The current structure of the tour is not his fault, but his lack of guts at Pipe is.
Brilliant!
WSL you missed the stop sign
?si=iwipqBHQrHSMd6mQDing Alley lampooning World Champs
Ron Hitler Barassi – personally and with feeling – told me to Fuck Off, at The Patch in Cooly in ’89. It was a special moment for me.
Haha face to face with the real Ron Barassi, he abused my missus when she was running a car park.
Ugly fuckers we worship
What’d you do, try to touch his moustache?
haha.
Spill his drink? Stole his seat? Looked at his tackle in the toilets?
Don't leave us hanging Gra.
Hey Tubey, so I got backstage after a gig at The Patch, TISM weren't generally doing interviews but I was so obviously plastered that when I told them I was doing a piece for SLAM magazine they let me in. I yakked with Humphrey B Flaubert for a while then asked if I could speak w Ron Hitler Barassi... Humphrey walked me back out to the main room, pointed out RHB, who was incognito, taking down TISM posters off the wall. I walked up to RHB and said triumphantly “I know who you are, you're Ron Hitler Barassi!” which annoyed him no end. He shoved a rolled up 'Saturday Night Palsy' poster into my hands and told me to Fuck Off... Humphrey used me to wind RHB up for sure ...
Not the story I was expecting Gra, but entertaining nonetheless.
TISM stage names, should've known.
“I know who you are, you're Ron Hitler Barassi!” no that won't work haha
They made you laugh and made you think, just like Ding Alley
haha cheers for the backstory.
Didn't make the connection to stage names either.
Still, RHB has plenty enough attitude to make the story entertaining, I can see why it was a special moment. Priceless.
Moustache?
More like tried to remove his balaclava.
Gold!
'They have shown that the public go WILD for low-stakes finales at demonstrably inferior and banal venues'
Another cutting edge innovation of the WSL is thinking of ways to save money. Imagine if Formula One just required that the drivers jog around the last track in a winner takes all extravaganza. They would probably save $100 millions. Professional sporting bodies around the world must be kicking themselves for not spotting this sooner. Well done WSL!
Brilliant
10 point ride...laughed out loud
I was wondering where you were going with this Gra. Took me a while to realise it was a fair dinkum news report …
Struggled to think of a way to explain a world champion surfer who won't push themselves over the ledge to a non-surfing friend and the best I could do was a golfer who never plays/can't play from the bunker, just picks the ball up and throws it and takes the penalty strokes.
This explains it
?si=AzZJTxwvQBZrwcGzHaha! The closer to the truth, the funnier.